The game of negotiating is a delicate balance between give and take…

The game of negotiating is a delicate balance between give and take, or “reach” and “withdraw.” This concept is a powerful tool not just in sales but also in managing all of our interpersonal relationships.

Let’s say you like someone a lot and wish to date them. If you keep “reaching” for them by constantly trying contacting them, they are are going to loose interest in you quickly. By interrupting the vital balance of “reach” and “withdraw” you’re not giving them a chance to meet you half way.

Every “reach” or two that you make must be followed by a “withdraw.” If they also have an interest in you, they’ll then reach for you and suddenly we have a viable relationship. Reaching or giving impulsively without having the discipline to back off (withdraw) will undoubtedly ruin the relationship. This is true in all human relationships, not just romantic ones.

Now, let’s say you’re selling a product or service. If you’re constantly pursuing a path of giving, reaching, or pushing, your prospect will get scared and walk away. In order to succeed, you need to withdraw or take away the opportunity you are presenting. It might seem counter-intuitive, but this will make him reach for you and for what you have to offer. Likewise, when you’re negotiating to buy a property, be sure not to act overanxious or desperate. Act as if it will not make a big difference in your life whether you get the deal or not. For every concession you give, try to get one from the seller. Act as if you have an abundance of opportunities and will be exploring all options. In this way, the seller will have more respect for you and will desire to deal with you because you don’t “need” what he has but rather you “want” it.

Good Luck,
Sam Sadat